Another Ramblings, One Year On

This is my meditation. This is my medication. I have worked hard. I have leapt forward. I have changed, and I have improved. I have gained new scars, and won new crowns. I have shed more tears, and pumped more fists of glory. A year on, I found myself almost where I started. I have no profound answers, nor do I need any. I make mistakes, just as I've always done. I gained more tools, but I also gained more weaknesses. In forever moving forward, I found myself not moving very much at all. In trying to live a fuller life, I reduced myself to a mere drone. But there is joy in working hard, and then letting go for a time. There is joy in meticulous execution, and then the unabashed abandonment of care into the wind. There is joy in sleeping long, and then some other day sacrificing sleep to waste some long moments absorbing the rising of the sun. There is joy in killing yourself to make a living, and then there is joy in just enjoying every moment to feel that you're alive.

I can work hard, plan all I want, build up everything I want to build, but yet at the end of the day the sky may still fall over my head. I can do everything in my power but I may still fail. There is a strange joy in knowing that even if that really happens, there is a God that is still in control of everything, and he got my best interest in his mind.